Grooming Your Fiance For a Fabulous First Dance

You said, “I do” to him. Now what do you do if he says, “I won’t” to dance lessons?

You’re probably planning to have a traditional first dance at your wedding reception. But it you’re like most couples today, it’s also likely that you have little or no partner dancing experience. If you don’t want to look like a couple of dorks on the dance floor, in front of all your friends and family, you need dance lessons. That’s obvious.

The thing is, a lot of guys loathe the idea of going to a dance studio. Put yourself in his shoes; how would you feel if you were going on a car trip for your honeymoon and your fiancé insisted that you go to mechanic’s school? Think you could come up with plenty of good excuses why you couldn’t find the time?

One thing’s for sure, no one likes to be embarrassed. That’s why you need dance lessons in the first place. But one reason a lot of guys avoid situations like studio dance lessons is that they fear being embarrassed there. After a lifetime of getting teased by their friends, most guys hate appearing to be beginners at anything, even when that’s exactly what they are. Frankly, it doesn’t matter that you’ll be supportive; it’s not you he’s worried about, it’s the other people who’ll be there. (And even if you take private lessons, there’s the teacher to worry about.)

Of course, one reason he may argue that he has no time for dance lessons is… he may really not have any time. Arranging for both of you to have free time at the same time, for the lessons and the commute to the dance studio, can be a real challenge.

Learning at home addresses both these issues. Your fiancé won’t be embarrassed in front of strangers, and you can schedule your sessions any time you happen to be together.

Is it really possible to learn to dance at home, in private?

Sure! There are loads of websites, books, and DVDs that all claim they can teach you to dance. The question is, how can you choose between them?

Start by looking for an at-home program that begins the way expert coaches train champion dancers. Before you take the first step, you need to learn how to stand and how to breathe. Poise and posture create an impression of grace before you even move; more important, they will carry you through any little mis-steps.

Forget about learning complex choreography at home. To develop an elaborate routine, even expert dancers need to spend many hours with choreographers. Luckily for you, you don’t need an elaborate routine to move gracefully as a couple. So when you’re choosing an at-home learning system, look for one that teaches a simple step pattern, like the box step, that’s easy to remember.

The box step is the foundation of most partner dances and can literally be learned in minutes. Add in a few turns and a final dip, and you and your fiancé will look as though you’ve been dancing all your lives.

So, once you’ve chosen a good at-home dance lesson package, and you know that you and your fiancé can learn in your own time, with no risk of embarrassment, you should be almost home free.

When you tell your fiancé what you have planned, don’t say that couples who dance together have much better odds of long, happy marriages. And don’t tell him that by dancing together you’ll be developing valuable non-verbal communication skills that will benefit every aspect of your relationship. Guys hate that touchy-feely stuff!

Instead, tell him that you have your heart set on a traditional first dance, and you don’t want him to risk embarrassment in front of all his friends. Tell him you can learn together, at home, and that it will only take a few hours. Then tell him the truth: dancing is hot!

Once he realizes that you weren’t kidding, that dancing is hot; once his friends ask him, “Hey, where did you learn to dance?” I’m betting that he won’t want to stop. And that bodes well for you as a married couple.

Mary Pinizzotto is The Wedding Dance Expert. She has taught hundreds of couples to learn to dance for their wedding. She’s the creator of the First Dance Fabulous system that helps couples look fabulous for their first dance in hours not days. http://www.firstdancefabulous.com

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Ballet Shoes and Pointe Shoes - and Between Class Shoes

What should a dedicated dancer wear for daily foot support? Today there are attractive athletic shoes in all shapes widths, and colors. The expensive built-up sole types are not necessarily the best. The kind with the springs in the heel look like they would feel great if you are walking on cement all day, or on the hard stone halls of a high school. But they may not be the best for developing feet and legs. I have seen that even very young dancers think like career builders and will pay attention to professional issues like daily footwear.

Joyce Morgenroth says in her article from Arts & Sciences Newsletter Fall 1997 Vol. 18 No. 2
"In pointe shoes the vulgar, useful foot is gone. In its place is the illusion of an elongated leg and only a most tenuous connection to the ground."

The entire article has a lot of historical detail, is a great read, and is found at http://www.arts.cornell.edu/newsletr/spring97/shoes.htm.

So how do we take care of our "vulgar, useful foot"? When I was a ballet student at The National Ballet School of Canada, we wore "vulgar and useful" shoes, by uniform mandate - oxfords! Ugh! Although I have to admit, when I tied mine on after a ballet class, my feet, ankles and calves really were supported and relaxed.

So back to modern athletic shoes, I read some passages from "Slow Burn" by Stu Mittleman. (I had ordered "Slow Burn" intending to get the book by Frederick Hahn and Eades & Eades. I received the Stu Mittleman book "by mistake" and then ordered the other one too. ) They are both fantastic books. No mistakes.

Page 77, the chapter "Always Buy a Shoe Fit, Not a Shoe Size", is a long chapter with interesting stories and great information. Stu is a runner and the frame of his info is for runners. However, a dance student or professional dancer can glean some good advice from him. On page 84 he says :
"The most important considerations to make when it comes to the structure and function of your foot have to do with the following:
arch typetilt patternfoot strike"

Stu's details in shoe selection that follow that passage resemble the minutiae that dancers attend to in fitting ballet shoes and pointe shoes. I suggest that dance students get the book from their local library and review this section, in consideration of the selection of the shoes they wear daily. Party shoes aside, I think you want to support the feet that are supporting you. All day.
Muscles relaxation is very important. In ballet classes, it is crucial to relax between exercises. In life it is crucial to relax between classes. You can most likely find the best shoe for your arch type, tilt pattern, and foot strike .

I used to work with Peter Walpole, DPM, who helped out both at The National Ballet School and National Ballet Company of Canada for many years. He used to say "High heels and pointe shoes should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention." He turned up with bags of widgets, (toe separators) bandages and other creative stuff to lessen the pain. He performed a lot of surgery on our shoes, never on our feet.

And now, I would be happy to hear from any and all podiatrists who work with dancers, ballet shoes and pointe shoes, should they wish to be known!

Peter Walpole provided the most wonderful orthotics. They were re-buildable, until worn through. He would despair of expensive shoes and tell his patients "tear out the insoles and supports, one size fits no one"........I was happy to see that Stu Mittleman agrees. He discusses orthotics at length.

Stu discusses the available athletic shoes for the tilt pattern. In ballet we say 'rolling ankles' 'dropped arches' or 'flat feet'. Simply meaning the inner ankles roll toward the floor, pronation, and the opposite, the outer ankles roll toward the floor, supination. Differently shaped sneakers will give needed support.

The foot strike is less important for dancers, but very important for runners.
Stu also discusses muscle testing. Chiropractors, kiniesiologists, naturopaths, acupuncturists, some nutritionists, many can muscle test. This includes for proper shoe support. If you have a practitioner that might do this for you, buy your shoes, and take them to your health care person, get the shoes muscle tested. If they are not supportive you can return them. They can test all your shoes that way and may not thank me when they see you coming into their office with huge bags of shoes, sandals, high heels....

If your feet hurt day after day, you'll be happy to find the exact right style and fit of street shoes to wear in between your classes. That way you will get the most out of your ballet shoes and pointe shoes.

Cheers, Dianne

Dianne M. Buxton is a graduate of the National Ballet School of Canada. She continued dance training at The Martha Graham School of Contemporary Dance, and Toronto Dance Theatre. She taught at, and choreographed for The National Ballet School, York University, and George Brown College, in Canada, and taught at Harvard University in the U.S. http://www.theballetstore.com provides articles on fitting pointe shoes, and strengthening exercises, for male students too.
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Ballroom Dancing - Let's Talk Shoes

I often hear the question - 'What kind of shoes should I wear to dance in? It's my opinion that the very best choice are those designed especially for ballroom dancing and even more specifically for the exact dance style you plan to be doing. But until such time as you decide to reward yourself with that sexy strappy Latin shoe with the Cuban heel, or a gorgeous sequined number for the elegant waltz, practicing in street shoes is perfectly acceptable.

Now...having said that, let me quickly add that not just any street shoe will do. Styles that should be avoided include anything with rubber soles, like sneakers, (they just don't give you the slide you need on the floor), open-toes (for obvious reasons, you're still learning and chances are so is your partner), such as sandals or (heaven forbid) flip-flops! And yes, I've actually seen people show up for class wearing flip flops! Try to execute a double spin in those!

But, if you have a leather soled shoe, such as a loafer-type, or for men, a dress shoe style, these will usually accomodate you nicely. The most important factor is that they must be comfortable and not tight on your feet. If your feet are aching, you'll soon be unable to focus on anything else.

The dance floor itself plays a part in the comfort level of your feet. Some studios have the proper flooring for dancing, which usually includes a cushiony, almost spring-like underflooring. This type floor enables dancers to dance for hours without feeling much effect...IF their shoes are also adequately comfortable. But some dance studios are built on a concrete slab, with only a layer of hardwood over it, and on those floors your poor feet will take a pounding.

When the time comes that you decide to invest in a good pair of dance shoes, shop around a bit. Prices and styles vary and the selection is almost endless. Prices can range from $30-50 on the low end to well over $200 on the high end. Dance shoes are designed not only to be best suited for dancing, but to enhance the overall aesthetics of your dance...you'll simply look better out there on the floor.

Many of the features of dance shoes serve practical purposes. The ankle straps are not just eye-appealing, they actually help your feet stay firmly in your shoes. Some of the pump styles have elasticized rims on the uppers which 'hugs' the shoe to your foot. The heels are different heights and widths, depending on the style of dance they're designed for. The soles are typically suede, which gives you the ability to literally 'glide' as you dance across the floor, and are especially helpful when doing turns and spins. To preserve the life of these suede soles, dance shoes should never be worn outside. Two other accessories that will extend the wear of your dance shoes - a carrying case for transporting them, and a sole brush to lift the nap of the suede every couple of weeks or so.

One final note - dance shoes (or any other shoe, for that matter) should be tried on in the late afternoon or evening, when your feet are typically at their largest. You'll be requiring a lot of your feet over the span of your dancing experience...treat them right, dress them properly and you'll have a great foundation on which to build a lifetime of ballroom dancing.

Honey Wesley has been a lover of ballroom dancing for over 15 years and tremendously enjoys sharing her passion with others. Visit her page at "All About Ballroom Dancing" and share your comments. There you will find news and information about ballroom dancing as well as related links for ballroom dancing products.

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My Daughters Precious Ballet Shoes

I was really glad when my daughter told me during her fifth birthday, that she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up. It thrilled me to know that I had a true little girl who is not interested in being a tomboy. I enrolled her into some creative dance classes before going into ballet. I was overjoyed when her instructors told me after the first year, that they thought she would be perfect for beginner ballet lessons.

My daughter and I were so excited that we rushed out to buy the outfits that she would need for her ballet classes. My daughter looked so beautiful in her tights that I was literally I was taking pictures of her every few seconds. Then we began to look for ballet shoes. The salesperson was very helpful, but my daughter didn't like the way that the shoes felt on her feet. I tried to explain to her that ballet shoes were supposed to feel that way. I also told her that she has to wear them if she wanted to take ballet classes. My daughter pouted for a few moments and then finally agreed.

She attended her first ballet class after a week. My little girl was all decked out elegantly in her new outfit, but refused to put the ballet shoes on. I had to plead with her for about 15 minutes before I was able to convince her that she could wear sandals and put her shoes on when we arrived. She packed them in her bag, but then she told me that she would be dancing in her sandals. I just sighed and hoped that her teacher can do a better job of convincing her to wear the ballet shoes.

All of the other girls in her class were running around happily in their outfits when we arrived. My daughter removed her sandals but was content to walk around barefoot. I whispered the issue to her ballet teacher, who agreed to deal with it. She approached my daughter and whispered something in her ear. Before I knew it, the ballet shoes were on my daughter’s feet. I was amazed and pleased when I left the room.

My daughter is now in high school and has gone through several pairs of ballet shoes. She is still determined to chase her dream of being a ballerina in the future. I feel very proud and happy whenever I see her carrying those pink ballet shoes to class. Many of my paychecks have been spent on buying her ballet outfits and shoes. But I can tell you that I have never once complained about a single dollar I spent. I still even have that first pair of tiny shoes for ballet that we purchased. They are now sitting on my dresser, next to a picture of my daughter in her first ballet recital.

Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning Ballet Shoes. Visit our site for more helpful information about Ballet Shoes and other similar topics.

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